


Those Three Words

by Paperrkites



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:35:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperrkites/pseuds/Paperrkites
Summary: After a mission goes worse than usual, Benji is left feeling guilty for messing up, so disappears into the night to drink his sorrows away.orEthan begins a new mission: Save Benji
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Good day to you,
> 
> I don't usually write fanfics myself, but with my love for these two idiots and the fact I spend too much time reading fics about them, I was compelled to contribute.
> 
> Soo, this is the outcome. Enjoy I guess?

Their mission had been tricky, resulting in them all barely making it out alive. But they had. And they'd succeeded. Just. 

All five of them had made a mistake. Brandt, Luther, Ilsa, Benji, even Ethan. But they all recovered from it quickly and pulled themselves together to work as a team and stop the terrorist from blowing up that bustling underground station.

After a couple of meetings at headquarters, one with the team followed by a slightly shorter one with team leader, the five friends found themselves standing in one of the many offices in the building, planning on going back to Luther's for some much needed drinks. Except there wasn't five of them, only four, as Ethan had immediately pointed out. 

He must have slipped off an hour ago, during Ethan's meeting. 

Ethan decided to pass on the drinks and go and look for their missing friend, pretending not to notice the knowing looks shared between the other three.

It took him longer than he would have liked to drive to Benji's apartment, and he all but woke everyone in the area with the loud, hurried slam of his car door. It wasn't like the Englishman to just disappear like that. And after multiple unanswered knocks and calls from outside Benji's door, his worry started rising.

Should he break the door down? No. If Benji didn't want to answer, it was his own choice. But what if he was in danger? No. Stop it. He probably wasn't even at home. Wait, surely that was worse?

Instead of doing anything rash, Ethan remained calm and pulled out his phone. The first call rang out, but to his relief, the second went through.

"Hullo?"

"Benji! Are you okay? You just left and I tried knocking but you weren't answering the-"

"M'not home."

"...huh?"

"M'not home."

"Where are you?"

There was silence.

"Benji?"

"Go join the others Ethan, m'fine."

Ethan called his name uselessly a few more times after the call had been hung up, then just stared blankly at the glowing screen. Well that wouldn't do.

It was well into the evening once Ethan had located Benji, huddled at a table in the corner of a small bar. And he had definately not done it by going back to headquarters and tracing the call. 

Ethan couldn't help but smile warmly at the sight of the drunk technician, red cheeks and ruffled hair making him look even more adorable than usual. This smile fell from his face instantly once he realised this wasn't just the result of a couple drinks. 

A loud gasp escaped his mouth before he could stop it, as his gaze drifted to the much-too-large-amount-of-empty-pint-glasses-that-is-definately-not-safe-for-his-Benji-to-consume.

He slowly lowered himself onto the seat opposite his friend, eyes never leaving the unfocused ones before him. Benji appeared not to have noticed his presence, and continued staring solemnly at the amber liquid in his half empty glass. As though finally deciding he might as well continue, he lifted it to his lips. But the bitter-sweet taste never came. Instead, a large hand was wrapped around his own, preventing the drink from moving any closer to his mouth.

"Benji..."

The voice was soft, laced with sadness and care. A voice that he knew so well. A voice belonging to a person that he loved deeply, and secretly. A voice that pulled him up from the water and towards surface.

Ethan felt relief rush through him, as Benji's clouded eyes visibly cleared upon meeting his own. Upon closer inspection, Benji's reddened cheeks were streaked with wetness and his eyelashes shimmered in the dull yellow lights above them. Ethan's brow knotted, his hand clasping tighter around Benji's, which had now released the glass. 

"Benji-" He repeated gently, only to be interrupted.

"You're very handsome." Benji slurred, a goofy smile spreading on his face that didn't quite cover his misery. 

Ethan chuckled lightly, his eyes darting away from Benji for the first time since he'd sat down with him. "And you're very drunk." He replied, breezing over the intoxicated compliment.

Benji hummed in agreement, his gaze falling on their hands, still joined. Ethan blushed, moving to pull away. The younger man gripped tighter, looking up sharply.

"Don't go." He said hurriedly, in a small, desperate voice.

Ethan melted under the look of panic and sorrow creased in Benji's features, and wondered what had gone through his friend's mind to cause him to act like this. 

"Of course not. Only ever if you want me to."

This answer seemed satisfactory to Benji. He sank back into his seat and relaxed his grip on Ethan's hand, the grin back on his face.

"You're v-very handsome." He said again, fighting the wide expanse of drink churning in his system to get his words out.

Ethan sighed with a hint of a smile, shaking his head with fondness. 

"Come on Benji. Let's take you home."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting all these at once because I have nothing else to do in my life.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Benji was pretty docile as they drove to Ethan's place (he had decided, after many unsuccessful attempts to retrieve a key from the drunk technician, to pull the man back into the car and take him to his own apartment instead).

Throughout the journey, he constantly found his eyes wandering over to the slumped figure beside him. Benji was pressing his forehead against the cool window, his eyes closed and an unsettling, whispered mumble falling from his lips every now and again. Ethan frowned at the pitiful sound, his stomach twisting with concern. The sooner Benji got some rest, the sooner he could help him with whatever caused the man to drink himself into near oblivion.

When he helped Benji out of the car, the man wobbled from the sudden movement, then doubled over and heaved onto the pavement. Ethan held him firmly, stroking small circles onto his back as he emptied the many pints from his stomach. Benji's legs eventually gave out, and Ethan had to half-carry, half-drag his friend up to his apartment and through the door, straight towards the bathroom. 

When he returned from locking up, Benji was dry heaving into the toilet, sobs escaping through the pain. 

"Ohh, Benji." Ethan grimaced, laying a sympathetic hand on the broken man's back. The touch seemed to calm him down, resulting in him slumping back against the wall. His eyes were red and he looked exhausted.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed." Ethan hauled Benji off the ground, and walked him to his room. Unthinkingly, the Englishman collapsed onto the bed with a contented sigh and began to doze.

"Benji, hold on. Let me take off your shoes and jacket first.” Ethan said, sitting beside him and unzipping his coat. Benji groaned reluctantly and forced himself into a sitting position too.

“If you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask.” He spoke with his voice thick with sleep and drink, and raspier than usual from throwing up.

Ethan swallowed, his own cheeks reddening now.

“No, Benji." Not now, anyway.

Benji pouted, leaning his head against Ethan's chest once he'd taken his coat off. “You smell nice.” He mumbled dreamily. Ethan hid his smile, gently pushing Benji off his chest and onto the pillow.

Ethan leant down and started undoing his trainers. Benji smiled and inched in again, pressing the side of his face into the crook of Ethan's neck. 

“Mm, you’re warm." He rested his forehead on his shoulder and Ethan felt his arms drape around his body. Benji breathed in deeply, his shoulders loosening as he relaxed his entire body against him. Ethan placed the trainers gently by the side of the bed and sat up, his heart pumping fast at the close proximity of drunk koala-Benji.

“You feel good.” He slurred, causing Ethan to shudder. He bit down on his bottom lip to control himself, and gently removed Benji's arms from around him. He shuddered again, but this time it was from the lack of Benji's warmth enveloping him.

“Benji, lay down, you need some sleep.” He insisted. Benji whimpered, dazed and so drunk. So adorably drunk. Ethan's smile faded as Benji's eyes grew dark and hungry. He stared intently at him, gaze travelling down to Ethan's lips. The older man stopped breathing, finding himself so close to Benji. 

"Can I kiss you?"

The small voice erupted like lightning though the tense silence. Ethan forced a sad smile, and made himself pull back, eyes flickering down to Benji's pink lips. He lay Benji down once again, stroking a hand across his cheek.

"Ask me again tomorrow."

Once Benji was settled, Ethan moved to leave the room, but was stopped in his tracks at the small voice again.

"You said, only ever if I wanted you to."

He looked down at the man he loved so dearly, snuggled in the sheets.

"You said you wouldn't go. Only ever if I wanted you to."

"Of course, Benji." He left the door and sat down on the side of the bed. He reached out and stroked his cheek again. "I promise, I'll stay until you can sleep."

He couldn't miss the panic that flashed across Benji's weary face, even in the dark, and it made him reach out, thumb gently stroking beneath his eye.

"Don't make me go to sleep. I don't want to be sober. I don't.. want to.. be..." 

Ethan not only sat with him until he faded into a peaceful slumber, but also well into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter! Hoped you liked this little Benthan contribution.

"Did you find him?"

"Yes. He'd... god Luther, he'd drunken so much. He was so out of it. One minute he's grinning, the next he's sobbing, then grinning again as though nothing had happened.

"God, I'm sorry Ethan. Wish we could have helped."

"No, no. It's fine. He's still sleeping. I'll talk to him when he gets up."

As though he knew he was talking about him, Benji soon appeared round the corner, bleary eyed and messed up hair, clutching his head painfully.

"Luther, I got to go."

"Wish him well from me."

Ethan placed his phone on the table and made to go pour Benji a glass of water. The younger man still looked very confused and shaken. 

"That was Luther." He said, handing the glass over to Benji, who basically inhaled the contents. "He, uh, wishes you well."

There was an awkward silence, then both men spoke up at the same time.

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"Oh." Ethan said immediately after, raising an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"

"Uhm, bits and pieces. I don't remember coming here though. You phoned me... then you found me... then..."

"I drove you back here and.. you stayed the night."

Benji's eyes widened, and he drew his hand to his mouth as the memories flooded back. Ethan had to suppress a laugh as Benji's face turned pink. "Oh god, how embarrassing. I.. oh god."

Ethan shook his head. "No, don't worry about it. You were drunk, I understand. The question is though, why were you drunk? Are you okay?"

Benji shook his head, turning to go back into the room. No doubt to get his shoes and coat, then disappear. Ethan hurried after him.

"Come on Benji, talk to me. I can help you. What's wrong?" He reached for his shoulder, but his grip was thrown off. 

"Stop it Ethan!"

"Benji-"

"Stop it!" Benji yelled, spinning round to face him. "I'm fine now. I always am after..."

Ethan faltered. "You mean, this has happened before?"

Benji groaned, holding his head in his hands as a bout of pain slashed through it. Ethan watched in silence, as Benji finally seemed to give in.

"Yes. Most missions. Normally after our 'celebratory drinks', but this was a bad one, wasn't it?" He gave a half-hearted laugh, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry that I failed you again. I try not to. I try to do my best. But my best never seems to be good enough. I'm a let down to the team. I'm sorry Ethan." Benji stared at the floor, eyes brimming with tears from a hurt he'd kept for so long.

Ethan's eyes widened in concern.

“Look at me, Benji —no, don’t just nod— look at me.” He waited until the blue eyes met with his. 

“You are amazing.” 

Benji let out a rush of air and turned away. 

“No, don’t do that, look at me.” He moved closer, staring at him until he finally looked back. 

“You. Are. Amazing." Ethan said slowly, the love pouring into his words. He shouldn't have to say it. Not like this. Like he doesn't understand. Like he doesn't believe it. 

"You are a huge part of the team. We couldn't do what we do without you. I couldn't do it without you. I trust you Benji, with my life. With the success of the mission. Because no matter what, you can always find a way. You are so, so amazing."

“But, I messed up. I'm always going to mess up, and one day, it will cost you your life! It will be my fault, Ethan. I can't lose you.” He said quietly. I love you. 

These three words never left his lips, however.

“Don’t,” The older man said firmly. “Just—don’t. We all messed up in that mission and you know it. But like I said, we always find a way to fix it. And we wouldn't have been able to if you weren't in the team with us. You didn't lose me. You never will."

Benji looked down. “You're right. I'm being selfish, just thinking about myself. It's just, I've messed up more often. I'm sorr—”

“And don’t be sorry!” Ethan took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from shouting to the skies about how amazing this man was! To just make him believe he is wanted. He is loved.

So loved. 

By him. 

By Ethan.

And he just wished he could bring himself to say those three, simple, difficult words.

“Benji,” he began more softly, “don’t be sorry for who you are. Don’t doubt how amazing you are. You’re kind and clever and essential to the team. Just…” he took another deep breath, “Just don’t forget that.”

"Thank you." Benji sniffed, tearing his gaze away from Ethan and moving away. But Ethan grabbed his hand and drew him back, pulling him into a hug. Benji tensed in his arms, and then collapsed into him. Ethan felt his shoulder grow damp with silent tears and held the man tighter. "I care about you so much Benji. We all do." He whispered into his ear.

Some time later, Benji pulled away with a watery smile. Ethan gazed into his glistening eyes, and brought a hand up to cradle his cheek. Benji's smile faltered, swallowing thickly once he realised how close he suddenly was to Ethan's face. 

"There was a question that you were going to ask me?" Ethan asked cheekily, his face split into a blinding white grin.

Benji's heart sped up, threatening to tear itself fron his chest. Surely he couldn't mean...

"Can.. can I-" He broke off hesitantly, searching for any kind of answer in Ethan's stare. But the man just raised his eyebrow. Enough to give Benji the confidence to finish. 

"...kiss you?" He whispered, lips already inches away from Ethan's.

"You may." The older man whispered back, his soft breath brushing over Benji's mouth.

Without another seconds thought, Benji closed the gap between them. As Benji's hand wound it's way into Ethan's hair, he smiled against Benji's lips, pulling him against his chest. The younger man felt his head swim as Ethan's tongue parted his lips. He groaned into the kiss, chasing Ethan's mouth when he eventually pulled away. 

They stood in a close embrace, Benji's hand resting on Ethan's neck, and Ethan's on Benji's waist. They rested their foreheads together, panting hard, both grinning madly.

The three unspoken words from before were translated to one another in that single moment.


End file.
